Control vs Force

   For those of you who don't know me I am a bit of a control freak. The secret is out! Those of you who do know me won't be a bit surprised by this admission, except maybe for the fact that I'm advertising it. To me, control is like:

   This becomes a bit of a problem for me, because one of the things that the Bristow Method condemns is control in all its forms and manipulations.  In many ways I agree with this but this is one of the areas that I have tweaked the Bristow Method. Instead of condemning "Control", I condemn "Force."
   Yes. The two words are different. I feel they need to be clarified. My definition of Control is when you want to know what you're doing, and make sure you're doing it right. I don't see anything wrong with that, do you? Ok, there still are times when it is either inappropriate or merely an illusion because there are many things you either shouldn't or can't control. But we are talking about voice here; and in that field I see nothing wrong with control.
  Force is very different than control. In my method, Force is the enemy of a healthy voice (and a lot of other things that seep  into your personal life, too.) Force is what you do when you're trying to manipulate your sound. It is a pitfall. Even the word sounds tense so what do you think your muscles are doing? You end up tensing muscles you didn't even know you had! Getting those muscles to relax is a process. Sometimes that tension can become chronic.
  How do you know when you are implementing force? Here are some physical signs I have noticed:

• Tense Jaw. Can you open your mouth all the way without pain or difficulty?
• Do you grind your teeth?
• Can you dance while singing without interrupting or ruining your sound?
• Can you move your head while singing high notes or does your head raise and chin jut out?
• Do you have pain while singing?
• Do you sing monotone?
• Do you allow your voice to crack?
• Do you save your breath in a phrase (or in exercising, for that matter)?
• Are your high or lower notes much louder than your middle comfortable notes?
• Can you slide like a slide whistle, or are your tones more distinct?

And many, many more! As you see, force sneaks stealthily into our voices. Force inhibits our ability to perform the way we should, and it destroys our confidence!
   So then, how do we fight force? My method is by Control. We control our tendency to force ourselves. We become aware of what our body is doing, then we check ourselves and relax the forced agents. We allow our bodies to function in their way, because our bodies know how to work much better when we keep our noses out of their business. It may not take effort to sing, but it does take concentration to do it correctly at first. Once we learn to conquer our fears that lead us to take the reigns when we shouldn't, our singing will come much more naturally and effortlessly.
  So to sum up, to avoid force we must learn to control our fears. We control the environment of our voice and our emotional reaction to our voice. We learn to check for signs from our body that our voice is comfortable and healthy, and then we let go and let our voices soar.

What Can I Do to Prepare My Child for Voice Lessons?

Thank you, thank you, THANK you for asking! :D

I have a nice little checklist here for you to consider!

1. Sing with your children!!! Especially when they are toddlers (from 18 months to 3 years), make sure they are surrounded with music and they know you're not scared to sing. It doesn't matter if you can't hold a tune. Those vital years make it so much easier for them to sing later, because it will come as naturally as walking to them.
2. Have a variety of music in your home. Otherwise you will raise a bunch of music snobs :D. Some of the genres I would suggest adding to your playlists are:
• Classic Disney: everything from "Aladdin" to "Mary Poppins" and back around to "Nightmare Before Christmas." (This will add quite a few genres without even trying too hard!)
• Broadway: I suggest "Fiddler on the Roof," "Sound of Music," "Les Mis," and even "Phantom of the Opera." Rogers and Hammerstein have a lot of fun songs to sing along with too. Actually, I will have to make a comprehensive list somewhere else. I LOVE Broadway!
• Folk Music: this would include hymns and other spiritual genres. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir has great folk and spiritual music. You can also look up "Peter, Paul and Mary."
3. Enroll your children in Children's Choir. This will help them develop an ear for harmonies and rhythms. Plus it gives them experience performing, which is VITAL! What is the point of being able to sing if you're too scared to sing for anyone?
4. Get your children learning a musical instrument. I always feel the world needs more pianists: that's a great place to start if they don't have a preferred instrument. Even an instrument like the drums can teach them a lot.
5. This is more subtle, but don't tease you're child if their voice cracks. There is nothing wrong with the voice cracking: it happens when your vocal cords are trying to learn how to stretch in ways they haven't yet. That's why teenage boys are so notorious for vocal cracks. The reason why you don't want to tease them is because it will almost always lead them to trying to prevent those cracks from happening. That is when tension gets involved. They may be able to prevent the crack, but in an unhealthy way.
6. Don't push your children to be perfect. Let them play around with their voices. That experimentation is what voice lessons is all about, and we want the student to be confident with making funny noises instead of trying to hide under the sofa cushions because they're so embarrassed. Let them express themselves in their own way. Won't it be fun to see what kind of amazing music they'll come up with when they're the composers?

Here are some other ideas for fun sing along music:

• Crooner Music: you know, Bing Crosby, Frank Sinatra, Ella Fitzgerald etc.
• Soul
• Classical (this will be the hardest to get your kids interested in. Especially Opera. But that's why I suggested Broadway and Classic Disney--they have classical sounds without being too heavy. Artists like Julie Andrews or Shirley Jones have great classical voices and sing fun songs.)

Can Kids Sing?

 

 I am of the opinion that EVERYONE can sing. After all, some of the most powerful sets of vocal cords I've seen were on infants. (How can something that tiny produce such sound?!) But the real question is SHOULD kids take voice lessons?
   This is a more difficult question to answer. There are definite benefits a child can obtain from voice lessons. These benefits may include: Confidence singing in front of people, diversity in music selection, and basic musical knowledge. I have found that most of these benefits can still be reached by enrolling your child in a good Children's' Choir. But there are certainly times when a child needs more individual attention, and voice lessons can still be an option.
   Here are some things to consider when considering voice lessons for your child:
1- What benefits are you looking for?

• If you want your kid to sound just like Taylor Swift or whoever is their favorite singer, you may be placing your child's singing voice in danger. (see http://songoftheheart1.blogspot.com/2014/09/common-mistakes.html)
• Be wary of what teacher you chose!!!!! You don't want a teacher who will sacrifice your child's unique gift for a specific sound. Many teachers who take children students don't teach healthy methods. Children are very quick to learn; you may find that your kid's sound seems to blossom instantly, but usually that mature sound comes at a high cost to their voice. If you are determined to get your child into voice lessons, make sure you find a teacher who focuses on vocal health.

2- How mature is your child? I find that most children have a very difficult time focusing on things until they are about 11 (depending on the child). Children younger than that either want to play or be entertained.

• Especially for the method I use, I find that an ability to comprehend basic anatomy is vital. Young children mostly have these concepts go right over their head.
• Also the body sends out hints and clues as to whether or not you're singing right. Children have a hard time recognizing and understanding those hints. They usually aren't self-aware enough.

3-I find that most young children sing naturally in a healthier voice than most adults as long as they are comfortable. As they grow older several factors make them start to tense and sing more unnaturally. Some of those factors include:

• puberty (ah, that glorious time of upheaval of EVERYTHING!!!)
• Peer pressure to sound a certain "cool" way
• The cultural image that makes it appear that to sing high, low, or loud means more tension/pressure
• Fear of cracking

Really our American culture teaches people that they CAN'T sing. They are just not "talented" in that way. It's as prevalent as the lie that women have to look a certain way in order to be beautiful. The way popular media encourages people to sound actually damages beautiful voices and cripples vocal cords in the same way that popular media encourages anorexia and bulimia and other ways of fitting the mold that not only warps the body, but also the mind. Usually the two lies go hand in hand.

   So to sum up: Should children take voice lessons? In many cases I would say it is not necessary, and it can certainly be dangerous. Usually I recommend that children younger than 11 should be enrolled in a children's choir. But I have no problem giving a few voice lessons to children younger than 11 to see if they are ready, if the parents feel strongly about getting their children involved in voice lessons.

For more on this subject, see also http://songoftheheart1.blogspot.com/2014/10/what-can-i-do-to-prepare-my-child-for.html